Strawberry Fields
by Jayni
Summary: PG for suggestive language. Shounen Ai. OOC-AU-Parody. Unbetaed. Duo is moving in with Heero, bringing his friends along for the ride.


"A little to the left - no, no! That's way too much! ... Nudge to the right, that's it!-- Too far!"

"Dammit Maxwell, I'm going to drop this damned bookcase right where I'm standing," Wufei puffed out, as he managed with his end - trying to shift the brunt of the weight off himself inadvertently transferring it over to his partner in manual labor, Zechs.

The tall blond wasn't finding the task any easier on his end and managed to mutter, "Bookcase? Oh nonono - it's an _armoire_," while inching back and forth at Duo's whims.

"It's a flame mahogany hand-carved Chippendale armoire I'll have you know! Complete with broken arch pediment as a crown!" Duo clapped his hands together once, and punctuated with a stomp of his foot. "You clearly have no appreciation for culture and taste! And both of you say you come from 'well-to-do' families - _honestly_!" He turned away with a huff in his upset, peeking over his shoulder at the armoire's current placement. "You may set it down there, I suppose," and with that the task master for the day swung his braid behind his shoulders where it settle at his waist. There were exaggerated 'ooo's and 'ahh's from the peanut gallery, with Duo responded with an indignant huff in return, "You act as though you guys didn't _offer_ to help me move in..."

"That was _before_ we knew your boyfriend lived on the fifth floor of a building with no elevators!" a voice from around the corner called out. A matching sideboard was arriving, introducing a shorter blond and a hard-angled brunette. The blond, Quatre, was red-faced and puffing; the brunette (Duo's boyfriend-in-question) was nearly just red-faced.

"Well at least Heero's helping," Wufei narrowed his eyes at the idle Duo, who fanned his hand dismissively.

"And he's the _quiet_ Asian," Zechs intercepted Wufei on his way to the kitchen with a swift pinch to his lover's rear, promptly being smacked away.

"I didn't hear any complaints last night," Wufei's eyes narrowed once more, now directed at Zechs, who promptly shut up. The tall blond's lower lip poked out as if to beg like a scorned pup. There were a few sparse chuckles from around the room.

Heero and Quatre set the sideboard down behind the sofa, with little complaint from Duo as to its placement. Wufei was not pleased: "Oh no - No! How come those two just get to put that damned thing down anywhere, while me and Zechs had to shift and inch left and right - practically breaking our backs for the sake of this damned..."

"_Damned_?! You say damned about an antique?! You don't see me trash talking your Ming vases, even though blue and white is just, _so_ not in right now..."

"Duo, you're flaming again," Heero interrupted. Quatre coughed discreetly into his fist to disguise a chuckle.

Duo cleared his throat, and pointedly toned it down, "Right. Well. I can't help it. It's what I _do_." The braided young man shifted his footing, crossing his arms in front of him as he pouted towards his Japanese love. "You don't see me name-calling each time you go off on an anti-gun control bonanza."

"People have the right to bear arms-"

"When they're running from loony tunes like yourself!"

"It was people with guns that brought these antiques over to these lands, protected them from getting stolen at every turn - and _will_ protect them in their cushy penthouse home if I have anything to say about it!"

"You are NOT turning my armoire into a gun rack!!"

"Go ahead and try and stop me!"

"Excuse me, fellows?" Zechs had stuck his head out. When Duo and Heero went at it, there was no telling where it might lead... it could vary from threats at the end of a Magnum, getting one's eyes clawed out, or just being totally ignored in the face of make-up sex. In any case, neither Quatre nor Wufei were eager to roll those dice. "As much as I'm pride central myself," the blond fingered his seashell choker and the rainbow rings dangling from a black cord underneath, "I think the Twilight Zone episode where everyone falls into their stereotypes isn't on until next week."

Duo thrusting his hips to one side while thumbing over at Zechs, "And _I'm_ flaming?"

"Says the queen with the ruffled shirt," the tall blond countered.

"GUCCI, thank you," Duo punctuated with two snaps and a hip bump, awkwardly returned by the taller Zechs. Quatre was biting his lip trying really hard not to laugh while Heero and Wufei were becoming increasingly appalled. They all knew the two were just acting that way for the attention and solely for goading their partners. "But, boys... Boys," Duo hailed, folding his hands together in front of himself and bowing his head just enough to highlight his puppy-dog violet eyes. "There's still the question of a lonely coffee table and ottoman down on the pavement..." Neither Asian boy looked as though they would budge, though Duo made his way over to Heero and whispered something into his ear. The others looked puzzled at the exchange, uselessly miming 'what's and 'why's to one another and raising eyebrows when Heero grabbed Quatre by the elbow towards the door.

"_That_, my friends," twirling on his heel to face Wufei and Zechs, Duo bowed gracefully, "... is how you get a man to do your dirty work."

"What the hell did you tell him?" Wufei asked before he had the sense to stop himself. It took less than a second for him to realize his mistake, and Duo began to pantomime but Wufei swiped his face with one hand while waving the other defensively. "No... NO - I don't want to know."

"He's lying, he'd LOVE to know... won't you, panda bear?" Wufei visibly flinched at the nickname, and moreso when Zechs forced him to watch Duo make a lewd pantomime of oral sex. "Oh just a blow? Heero's an easy customer, not like this one -- OW!" Zechs got a swift kick to his heel, toppling his balance so he was leaning heavily on Wufei's shoulders. Zechs was feeling a touch disappointed (scorned, yet again) and nuzzled apologetically into his lover's ear to win his place off the couch that evening. His expression brightened considerably when he noticed Duo's other hand had been pointing towards the open door to the balcony. Wufei struggled to get Zechs off once his laughter started, but was too exhausted to prevent them from toppling into a heap of limbs on the couch.

"Oh - OH!" Zechs was hooting and hollering now, trying to calm himself down if just for the sake he would crush his lover in his flailing. When he sat up on the couch, relieving Wufei of his weight, he received a sharp blow to the back of his head. Nursing his wound with his hand, and sticking his tongue out briefly at his partner, he noted, "I can't help that I think it's funny that Duo's found himself an exhibitionist." Zechs waggled his eyebrows towards Duo who was now standing in the doorway of the balcony. When the pieces clicked together in Wufei's mind, he bit down on his lower lip to stop from laughing. "Yes, yes. Mr. Conservative Right-Wing Gun-Advocating... dare I say it - _republican_... Heero Yuy is an--"

"... is an?" Sweet Quatre appeared in the doorway, cradling a velvet thrown ottoman and set it down in the middle of the floor in front of Zechs - who immediately took advantage of it.

"Sorry, little one -" (Quatre winced.) "But you're still a little green, sweetie...," Duo cooed from his place. "But, don't worry. One day," he approached in a rather motherly manner, and brushed off invisible lint from both of the shorter blond's shoulders, "... when you're big and gay like the rest of us, we'll let you in on all the sordid details." Quatre received a two-cheek kiss-kiss for his trouble, and a blush running down to his neck. "Your day will come, to be the best queer that you can be." Duo stopped and looked at Quatre quizzically, "Heero's not going to try and bring up that coffee table on his own, is he?" The braid was trailing behind him as he made his way to the door, his face wrought with concern, regardless of the "aww"s coming from the couch-side box seats.

"Uh... There was this guy... downstairs... who offered to help, and... yeah," Quatre's voice drowned out as he digressed into murmurs and was stuffing his fingers into his back pockets while stubbing his toe into the ground.

"Oh my god. OH my god," Zechs brought his fingers up to his mouth, his lips curled in. Wufei looked back and forth between the two blonds - Zechs fanned his hand in Quatre's general direction which was apparently enough sign language for the Chinese young man.

"I warned you, Quatre. Hang around with him and Duo long enough, you'd be switching teams..." Wufei clucked in jest, though Zechs took him far too seriously and was far too excited by the prospect. The tall blond held his knees together fanning at his face with untold glee.

"Oh MY God...!"

"Whatever cough are you talking --" Quatre broke down into a mild coughing fit on the spot and Zechs was up and out of his chair. After all, he wasn't exactly 'switching' anything...

"The final sign! Quatre - you only cough like that when you're nervous! Just like..."

"... Just like Ingrid Bergman in Anastasia," Wufei rolled his eyes. Zechs' fondness for leading ladies always manifested itself, particularly in terms of the poor Quatre. Yanking his lover down by the waist, he dragged Zechs back down to sit with him. Duo had disappeared out the front door, but his voice could be heard carrying down the hallway. "Shh, you - they're coming back."

"Ooo... Can't wait!" Zechs slapped his thigh and dragged a blushing Quatre down to sit with him. "We have to make sure this young man is worthy of our young Hero --"

"'Heero'?" Quatre squeaked as Zechs threw an arm around him.

"No no, Hero. It's one of the leading ladies from Shakespeare's _Much Ado_," Wufei supplied while rolling his eyes.

"Yes, Quatre - if you're going to be _officially_ gay now, you'll have to learn a few things --" Zechs was interrupted by a sharp elbow to his stomach and discreet coughing under Wufei's breath. Zechs pouted, but his attention was drawn to the slender hips sashaying backwards through the front door in nothing but evergreen sweatpants. Zechs reached over and picked up Quatre's jaw, and Wufei reached over and picked up Zechs'. Duo was steering them towards the living room and directed his lover and the newcomer to set the table down in front of the armoire.

"Guys. Trowa. Trowa. Guys," Heero gestured back and forth from the tall stranger with hair that fell over his face, hiding one of a pair of stunning emerald eyes. The Japanese man seemed entirely oblivious to the general attention his neighbour brought to those present. Zechs ran his tongue over his teeth in Quatre's general direction - Duo signed back with a scratch behind the ear. Wufei saw something brewing and was casting a look of utmost sympathy to the petite blond. Zechs opened his mouth to speak, but Duo beat him to it.

"Well I'm just going to see what we have to drink for our guest..." he offered Trowa a smile, while snatching Heero's arm on the way. "C'mon, Heero."

"But --"

"_C'mon_..." Duo urged. Heero was yet to come up to speed on his queer sign language just yet, so Duo unceremoniously dragged him into the kitchen.

"So Trowa, are you seeing -"

"We should go help Heero - Duo can become rather overzealous when it comes to having company over," Wufei smiled cordially, while successfully interrupting Zechs. He pulled his lover away from the other blond, who was sinking further and further into the couch. Wufei just knew Zechs would stir up more than Quatre would be willing to swallow, so best to get him out of there.

Left alone, Quatre busied himself with examining the composition of his Nike runners. Trowa, similarly, was appreciating the contrasting colors of his Adidas'. In the kitchen, Duo and Zechs were being held back by Wufei trying to eavesdrop while Heero rode solo in pouring refreshments. "Water okay with you, Tro?" Heero called out from the kitchen.

"... Huh? Oh yeah, sure, Heero."

"Well, you make yourself comfortable in there, y'hear!" Duo's voice came floating in, trailed by stifled giggles that could only have been Zechs - and twin sighs, which had to be Heero and Wufei. Quatre shifted in his seat, not really watching, but well aware of the body moving towards him and seating itself an arms' distance away.

"So you live in the building?" the small blond was picking off invisible lint from off his knee, while casually noting his voice nearly break at the end of his question. He could feel the blood rushing up to his face, making him blush - it had been a while since he reacted to anyone so...

"Yeah, I'm just downstairs -" Trowa paused, and Quatre reddened as they could hear Zechs' voice trail into the room: 'I bet he's had to come upstairs and ask you two to quiet down...' Trowa's hand went to the back of his neck, and mussed with the shorter hairs that looked as though they may be standing on end. There was a cloud of shh's that filled the kitchen, and could be well heard in the living room. Clearing his throat, he continued, "I've helped Heero bring things up before, so it was no big deal or anything." There was a rather sharp gasp, which sounded suspiciously like Duo. Quatre winced.

"You... work out?" There was the resounding echo of someone slapping their forehead. Quatre tried to ease back into his seat, resting his elbow on the back of the couch. This way, he could hold his head up with his hand, and massage the knot in his temple at the same time. Unfortunately, Trowa mimicked his movements, essentially showing off his bronzed chest in all its tight and lean glory. The blond then saw fit to cross his legs.

"Yeah, at that place on Davie, next to the bank," Trowa pointed in the general direction of the place of which he was speaking. Quatre was unconsciously leaning forward as his gaze followed the curve of the brunette's neck - but caught himself, folding his hands over his knees.

"Oh yeah?" ... there was an echo from the kitchen, followed by a baritone 'bow-chicka-bow-wow.' Quatre gritted his teeth. That 'place' on Davie, which _happened_ to run right through the rainbow district, had quite a few tales that chimed out of the steam room once every hour. At this point, the blond swore he couldn't feel any circulation going further than his knees. Geez, when was the last time he...

"FUCK!"

Trowa and Quatre's heads turned to the kitchen, where then followed a crash - and a pile-up of three men in the doorway leading into the living room. It looked like Wufei got trapped under both Duo and then Zechs.

Heero casually stepped over them with a tray of glasses and a pitcher of water. The pitcher was prepared by someone other than Heero, as there was a lemon carved to resemble a carnation floating in it, and pink curly straws in every glass. Setting the tray down on the ottoman, Heero yanked out two of the straws and tossed them in the general direction of the three struggling to disentangle themselves and poured Trowa and himself a glass each. Heero poured another glass for Quatre, leaving the straw in, casting a telling glance between the straw and Trowa. (Apparently, he'd had a crash course in sign language sometime while he was in the kitchen.) Quatre, predictably, blushed. Thankfully, Trowa missed all the nonverbal correspondence and was transfixed at that moment at the three trying to get back on their feet while attending to their hair at the same time. There was a shadow of a smile gracing Trowa's lips, and Heero reached over and picked up Quatre's chin. When Trowa's attention returned, he looked quizzically at Heero, who at the moment had his hand still on Quatre's chin. Quatre was caught like a deer, forced to meet Trowa's eyes thanks to Heero.

"I thought I saw an eyelash," he lied straight-faced. Duo never looked so proud. Heero shrugged while looking at his hand, knowing full well there would be nothing there. "I must have missed it."

Quatre was petrified. He tried to look away, or at least blink, but he only managed to shift his weight a little. Trowa was looking at him quite intensely and it was more than enough to send Zechs and Duo back into full flamer-fanning mode.

Trowa leaned in towards Quatre, who was then holding his breath. "Oh." He leaned in further, and blinked twice - as though the light may have been playing tricks. "Oh no, there it is." Heero looked just as surprised as Quatre as Trowa nonchalantly swiped his finger across the corner of Quatre's mouth, offering it back to him. "Make a wish."

Now Heero had a smile ghosting across his lips, but mostly because of the scene behind the couch of Wufei having both Duo and Zechs in matching headlocks, covering their mouths with whatever ounce of strength left in him.


End file.
